Friendship on Fire, Our Toxic Traits Exposed | Ep. 31
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Narrator:Welcome to Kindling Conversations, the podcast where warmth meets wit and 4 friends gather around the crackling fire of camaraderie to share stories, laughs, and insights. So grab a cup of your favorite beverage, settle into your favorite spot, and let the glow of kindling conversations accompany you.
Caleb:Well, to Kindling Conversations. I, sorry. Ben and Kyle were jerking each other off. OTPHJs. Anyways, welcome to Kindling Conversations.
Caleb:The podcast that brings you laughter and joy that time of year, you know, Christmas.
Ben:Oh my god. Not yet.
Caleb:We're through Halloween yet. We wish you
Ben:merry Christmas.
Caleb:We wish you merry Christmas. We wish you okay. La la la. Okay. Anyways
Ashley:That's perfect.
Caleb:That's perfect. Okay. Fine. I guess that is perfect. No.
Caleb:I am sitting here with my 3 okay ish dominoes. Whatever. I'm Ben. I'm Kyle.
Ashley:I'm Ashley.
Caleb:And and today Mike.
Ashley:You all just experienced the first thing of Caleb's toxic trait.
Caleb:Who
Kyle:the fuck is this?
Caleb:So, yeah, today, we're gonna be talking about toxic traits. And you really think it's a toxic trait that I love Christmas so much that I start listening to Christmas music halfway through September?
Ashley:Yes.
Caleb:Y'all are unfestive motherfuckers. There's a Christmas Thanksgiving. Yeah. No. No.
Caleb:Yeah. No.
Ashley:No. Why are you totally forgetting about Halloween and
Caleb:Thanksgiving. Halloween.
Ashley:And what you're I
Caleb:like Halloween.
Ben:And what you're thankful for and what's on your plate and your food.
Caleb:Fuck what you're thankful for. Thanksgiving has its place. Okay? I can't listen to fucking Thanksgiving music. What do we we wish you a happy Thanksgiving.
Ben:You're so you're missing you're missing a very important holiday mainly in Wisconsin Halloween. For Thanksgiving weekend. Yes. Opening weekend for deer hunting. Exactly.
Ashley:Okay. So let's boil backwards. What are we talking about today?
Caleb:Toxic traits.
Ashley:Yep.
Kyle:Caleb's toxic trait is listening to Christmas music starting September 1st. No.
Ben:Not September 1st. Mid September. It's July 1st. He did July and Chris or Christmas July.
Caleb:It is awesome. You you know, I will say. K. But, yeah. So, apparently, that's one of my toxic trait.
Ashley:Very much so.
Caleb:I don't understand how, though.
Ashley:You know what a toxic trait is?
Caleb:Define it for me, Ashley. And
Kyle:so make No.
Caleb:No. No. No. Without your phone.
Kyle:It's a trait that you have. Phone. It's a trait that you have that you would consider toxic.
Ben:That you would push that you push upon other people.
Ashley:Yeah. That's what makes it that's the toxic trait because
Caleb:Christmas. I don't. Yes. You do. No.
Caleb:I don't. What did you just do?
Ben:Always. What did you just do?
Caleb:I I do not subject you all to Christmas music before November 1st. And, yes, Kyle did just fart into the microphone.
Ashley:Oh my god. You're her fucking child.
Caleb:Either way, I'm not pushing my my love of Christmas on to people.
Ashley:You know what? You know, the energy
Ben:just do.
Ashley:The energy that you put into your Christmas bullshit, you could put towards girls, to relationships.
Ben:Caleb's next tactic trait toxic trait here. Ashley, go ahead.
Caleb:According to Ashley according to Ashley, my other toxic trait
Ben:And Ben Angles. Is
Caleb:finding you guys are in on this topic? Yes.
Ben:Yes. We've had a whole conversation about it
Caleb:before. Apparently, my other With
Ashley:my parents. Literally.
Ben:My parents were involved in the conversation too.
Ashley:Why? Because it's oh my god.
Caleb:Okay. So the toxic trait is that I find red flags in any girl I meet.
Ashley:Yes.
Kyle:Yes.
Ben:Yep.
Ashley:He literally will go. He'll start texting. So he'd be like, oh my god. She's great. She's lovely.
Ashley:And then they go on on a date, and then he comes back and he goes, she couldn't carry on a conversation. Oh, bull yeah. It's your fucking first date. What are you supposed to talk about on a first date? Kyle's dick was in me in his
Caleb:our first date. I think I'm And I
Ashley:married him.
Caleb:I don't know I don't
Ben:know someone's Hey, guys.
Caleb:Hey, guys.
Ben:I think
Caleb:I'm just gonna head
Ben:out after
Caleb:this one. Figure out about me, and I wanna figure out about her. So I'm asking questions. She's not asking anything back. Right.
Caleb:That's not or that toxic. Not a red flag that she's not asking questions about me?
Ashley:No. Because you have to give it more time.
Caleb:What is
Kyle:what what is she trying to understand you?
Ashley:Yeah. Like, some people like to prefer to listen rather than be self centered. Like Right. Don't take this the wrong way. But if you were talking about yourself and you kept talking about yourself or stuff, that kinda can make you seem like a self centered person.
Ashley:And
Caleb:But the thing is is I was asking questions about her, and then she just didn't ever ask questions about me.
Ashley:Or the next one is that you were talking to somebody, like, texting and and just expose them, but you get all mad when somebody goes to you. I
Caleb:don't get
Ben:mad when you go to someone. Apparently, this podcast is let's reveal Caleb's toxic traits.
Caleb:Just Caleb's. Yeah. I don't get mad when someone goes to you. I am like, what the fuck? Mhmm.
Caleb:But I've come to terms with the fact that I ghost people, and I'm like, yeah. I I deserve that. Mhmm. I do. When do I ever complain that someone ghost me?
Caleb:I always say, you you always ask what happens, and I'm like, yeah. She ghosted me. Mhmm. But I'm not like, oh, she ghosted me. World's tiniest violin, please.
Ashley:Kyle, you recovering over there?
Kyle:Recovering from what?
Caleb:Farting into the microphone.
Kyle:I I wish it would have been louder.
Ben:I got one of Kyle's toxic traits.
Ashley:Do it.
Ben:Yes. Inmaturity. Mhmm. Yes.
Kyle:Mhmm. Is that is that toxic, though? Yes.
Ben:Parting into the microphone of a professional podcast.
Ashley:When you need
Caleb:So professional.
Ashley:When you need to be, you you can't.
Caleb:I don't have any other
Ben:part of the
Ashley:podcast. Funny.
Ben:Don't have any toxic
Ashley:be mature.
Kyle:No. I can. Uh-huh. I don't just rip ass at work unless I'm by myself.
Caleb:Ben's talking trait is thinking this podcast is actually professional.
Kyle:There was there there was,
Ben:like, that's high hopes. Okay?
Kyle:Couple weeks ago at work, I, I was walking through the back part of, like, a store. I was following the coworker. I was
Caleb:on the phone with you.
Kyle:They were on the phone with me, and I I really had to fart. Mhmm. I was trying to hold them in, and I thought I was gonna be silent. So she's, like, in front of me, and we're walking, and it sits down and went and it squeaked, and it fucking echoed, and I went, oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh, fuck. I was on the phone and, like, I I quickly turned and I walked out, and I was, like, that's so fucking embarrassing.
Ben:And then he go back to I'm
Kyle:like, I was fucking ripped ass and echo down this fucking hallway.
Caleb:And then
Ben:you go back in there with the same lady.
Kyle:Yeah. And then so I was, like, well, I'm not gonna inconvenience her anymore. No. I had to. I had to go back in there.
Caleb:She was
Ben:the only one that access to it.
Kyle:I took pictures of
Ben:the whole building.
Kyle:And there was one I forgot, and Joey needed a picture of it. And I'm, like, oh, motherfucker. So I had to go back in
Caleb:and He tried to go to
Ben:a different store first, but they told him, well, they don't have access
Caleb:to that. Yeah.
Ben:Yeah. There's a door in between there and there. They can't go between.
Kyle:Yeah. They're, like, technically, they own the whole back, and I'm, like, fuck. So then the woman let me back there, and I could've just stayed outside. But the woman said from the other store that she would wait for me Mhmm. To let me back out.
Caleb:So I
Kyle:don't think she understood that I was already outside. So I'm like, fuck. Now I gotta walk back in to find her, and then I had to walk all the way to the back to the front, and then she let me out. I'm like, oh, Jesus Christ. Anyway
Ashley:Ben's toxic trait?
Caleb:Thinking this podcast is a serious one. Maybe that's my only toxic trait I have. No. Yeah. No.
Ashley:My toxic trait is my my stomach aches.
Kyle:IBS?
Ashley:Yeah. Okay, Caleb. Go.
Ben:Yeah, Caleb. Go. Any day now. I refuse Any day now.
Caleb:I'm sorry. I refuse to be I you refuse to be I refuse to talk. Nope.
Ashley:Go for it.
Caleb:Because Ashley's toxic trait will come out.
Ashley:Say it.
Caleb:You make arguments out of anthills. What's that mean? You make mountains out of mole hills. Yeah.
Kyle:Which means that there's something there. U turns up going
Caleb:and keeps going and keep going and keep going and keep going and keep going. You build a molehill. To a mountain.
Kyle:Yeah. She's going some molehill thing. No. She adds onto it and we think and and she thinks that we add on to it, but it's her. She just keeps piling it up.
Caleb:Benjamin, stop breathing. You're breathing loud. Benjamin, blow your nose. Yeah. Better stop breathing.
Caleb:Stop breathing so heavy. Better just stop.
Kyle:Mom, yell at him. Mom. Mom.
Caleb:There's no Mom,
Ben:yell at him.
Kyle:Or I'll be falling asleep. She'll be sleeping and I'll be watching YouTube and, like, I'll I'll kinda doze off and I'll go, like and she goes, you're sleeping. And I'm, like, no. I'm not. And she goes I'm
Caleb:just gonna stick my arm.
Kyle:She's like, I heard you snore.
Caleb:And I'm like, I'm breathing. Like, I I took a breath.
Ben:Yeah. Woke with my whole life.
Caleb:Oh, I
Ben:don't know what time the trade is. If you ever share a room with Ashley, good luck trying to fall asleep. But she will not stop talking to you at night. We're up north. Yes.
Ben:We confirm.
Kyle:That that leads me to one of Ben's toxic drinks.
Ben:Oh, boyish. We were up north, and we're I have to get up early to go fish in the morning. This is, like, 12 o'clock at night, and she just kept creating conversation. I kept creating conversation. I kept creating conversation.
Ben:Finally, Ashley, shut up. I'm trying to go to bed. Well, I don't wanna go to bed yet,
Caleb:so I wanna keep talking. No. Shut up.
Kyle:Ben, you so if you're sleeping in the same bed with Ben Oh, boy. You have to put a pillow between
Caleb:you Oh, yeah. Because Ben
Kyle:Ben will try touching you. No. I put I put a pillow some hairy feet.
Ben:I put a pillow in between us.
Kyle:I thought that was
Ben:something that was under the covers.
Caleb:I feel like I know another one of mine.
Ben:You're snoring? No.
Kyle:Do you come prematurely?
Caleb:No. I'm literally waking up randomly and staring at me. Yeah. Yep.
Kyle:Staring at your soul. Oh my
Ashley:god. Oh, that's
Kyle:That's a Halloween attraction.
Caleb:Feel like this is, like Hopefully. Toxic traits at this point, or do you think this is just, like
Ashley:We're just bashing on each other.
Caleb:Each other. Yeah.
Ashley:Whatever. In our dark deepest, darkest traits?
Ben:Secrets?
Caleb:Yeah. No. Not secrets, really.
Ashley:No. They're not secrets. That's why I hesitated.
Caleb:It's more
Ashley:like traits.
Caleb:If Caleb
Kyle:had a few more piercings, he would look like he he owns a piercing pagoda.
Caleb:Wait. What?
Kyle:If he had a few more piercings, he would look like you own a piercing pagoda.
Ben:Say if
Caleb:I had a few more piercings? Do they have any? I don't I don't
Ben:have any.
Kyle:I say you have, like, a Prince Harry or whatever.
Ben:A Prince
Kyle:Julian? Oh my god. A what?
Ben:Prince Julian?
Kyle:Yeah. Whatever the fuck that is.
Caleb:This is the
Kyle:the dick piercing. No.
Ben:We got the tip pierced?
Caleb:No. If you
Ashley:get an MRI, you have to get that out. Otherwise, your dick will get pulled off of you.
Caleb:Well, good thing I don't have one. Ben
Ashley:Ben says constant negativity.
Ben:I do not.
Caleb:Yes. I am not constant in you, Ben.
Kyle:I'm an optimist.
Ben:What you're talking about. I'm all positivity
Caleb:Nope. Ben. I can't wait till this podcast launches. This is the intervention episode, I feel like.
Ben:I do not I know. I am not a negative. I am positive.
Caleb:Say you're negative about everything, but there is a lot of negativity built up in there. But to be fair, where did he get that?
Ashley:Where does he get it from? Yeah. Do you want social work Ashley to pull this out? Because I know exactly where it came from.
Kyle:Yes. And?
Ashley:Yeah. And my mom.
Caleb:Yeah. No.
Ashley:If there was no positive praise with her, like, everything was, like, you you did it. That's nice. Like, there was no good job. I'm proud of you.
Ben:Where do you think my no emotion comes from? Your dad. I know that both.
Ashley:Yeah. Both of our parents are very, like, unemotional.
Caleb:Like, no emotion whenever
Ashley:All business.
Caleb:Yeah. All business, no emotion. Your mom at least seems like she sprinkles some emotion in to say
Ashley:But there's alcohol.
Kyle:But there's alcohol? That's
Caleb:typically what I'm saying. Alcohol. Alcohol
Ben:in other people around. Yeah. When it's just our family, it's just like me. No emotion.
Kyle:I give shit for it too. Like like for Ashley's graduation.
Ben:And my dad just laughs about it too. It's funny.
Kyle:Yeah. So, like, Ashley's graduation when she walked across the stage for for college Yeah. I fucking screamed. Right? And, like For
Ashley:both of my degrees.
Kyle:Yeah. So, like, I got done and I was, like, man, Ken, don't be so loud next time. And he sat there, he's like
Ashley:He just laughed.
Kyle:Yeah.
Ashley:Yeah. I don't think my mom actually told us told me that she was proud of me until, I think, it was either my bachelor's or my master's, and she made a post on Facebook. And I screenshotted it because I was, like, I've never like, she's never publicly had said that. Like, I'm proud of you. And I was, like, oh my god.
Ben:I'm still waiting.
Kyle:You say your ovulation She
Ashley:told you she was proud of you?
Caleb:When?
Ashley:When you got your test back for your firefighters.
Caleb:Oh, did she make a post about that?
Kyle:She didn't
Ashley:make a post, but she told you in front of a lot of people.
Caleb:I'm gonna
Ben:I remember that.
Ashley:Yeah. Because you shut that part out.
Caleb:No. Anyways, that's a toxic trait.
Ashley:Kyle's toxic trait is that he is passive aggressive, and it drives me fucking nuts. Oh, I just wanna strangle him.
Kyle:Take your time.
Ashley:He he does the yeah. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah.
Kyle:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Caleb:Take your time. You could be like like trying to really think about
Ashley:Yes. And process it because you're not trying yeah. Because you don't wanna like fuck it up. Sorry.
Ben:So those those are slow over here.
Ashley:He's like a horrible person when you're, like, trying to process it. Yeah. He'll sit there and, like, stare at you and it's like your soul. He will
Caleb:just write
Kyle:you down.
Ashley:Why don't you say something? And then you say something wrong and then he has to always, like, fuck with you about it.
Caleb:Take your time. It's true. Take your time.
Ashley:Oh, or when I'm, like, in my, like, rant and I say something wrong, he has to stop and correct me and make me say the word.
Caleb:Wait. Hold on. Say that again? Yeah.
Ben:That's alright. Me and Aaron have been giving it back to Kyle. And he hasn't responded to us on the phone. We'll just Yeah. We'll just we'll go good talk, Kyle.
Ben:Good talk. Good talk. Then he'll go, what? What? We're like, yeah.
Ben:Good talk. We've been having a whole conversation without you.
Ashley:Like, he's the only one that
Caleb:Good. Yeah.
Kyle:He
Ashley:if you are preoccupied doing something and he's talking and you don't answer, but he can do it to you, and it's, like, not a big deal.
Caleb:Yeah. Yeah.
Ashley:Because he's so perfect.
Ben:Oh, I know that tactic trait is copying what other people do.
Caleb:Like what? Oh, yeah. But I just moved my microphone. Be able to tell you. Oh, yeah.
Caleb:I just What is it?
Ben:So I just moved my microphone to be a little more to a different angle because I wanna test it out. And Kyle does the exact same thing.
Kyle:Just to be honest, I didn't know I could do this. I'm like, it's pretty cool.
Ben:I mean, it come from above until down below, and he's checked the same thing, not killed.
Kyle:Fancy pants over here.
Caleb:Yeah. Yeah. I have to copy Kyle, you know.
Ben:Yep. That is
Kyle:I'm not really liking it because, like, now it's in the way, and it bothers me. You.
Caleb:So
Ashley:I'm here, and I'm perfect because I don't got no toxic traits.
Ben:Yeah. You do. Yeah. You do. I've already said No.
Kyle:No. No. Toxic trait is you you fucking in your head, you're, like, oh, I'm gonna go tanning in the summertime, but doesn't go outside. She'd rather go to a fucking tanning salon and spend money than lay outside and get a natural fucking tan. It's like, why would you waste money when there's a fucking sun?
Kyle:There's a natural source for tanning. And you're like, I'm gonna spend $20.
Ashley:It's not $20. 30. Oh, it's cheaper.
Caleb:It's still money. 19.99, bro. Yeah.
Kyle:It's like, dude, like like, you you can lay out on the fucking deck and get the same amount of sun that you would go into a fucking tanning salon.
Ashley:Yeah. But now it's cold, and now I can't.
Caleb:To be fair, one of Kyle's toxic traits is not wanting to spend money. But if you wanna spend the money
Ashley:Like, if he okay. Yes. Yeah. For him to spend the money, it's totally fine.
Caleb:Well, that last
Ashley:There is nothing to worry about.
Caleb:With that last podcast, total 99 a month. Yeah. Total 99 a month. That was a couple of ago, actually. Was it?
Ashley:And Yeah. But when, you know, when he wants to, it's fine. He can go to QuikTrip at McDonald's and Subway all he wants. But I try and buy food at fucking work, and it's that's fucking expensive.
Kyle:I don't really buy you for buying food at work.
Caleb:Mhmm. I've never once
Ashley:I try and buy groceries, and he goes, oh, no. You no. That's stupid. Why would you do that? But then he goes and fucking buys things that sit on our counter until they're fucking moldy.
Ashley:Yeah. Yeah.
Kyle:That's nice.
Ashley:Oh, the bread. Oh, he is. His toxic
Caleb:flavor is the bread. Here's the mole hills in the mountains. Yeah. Here it comes. No.
Caleb:You just have to be Yeah. Kyle's top it. Kyle's other toxic trait
Ben:is doing things that annoy people on purpose. Yes. I love doing that.
Caleb:Although that's fun sometimes. It is fun, but
Kyle:I like being a smart ass.
Ben:That's a fun one. I like that one. Oh, man. Like, we were
Caleb:to behave
Ben:with Caleb.
Caleb:Mhmm.
Kyle:Like, we
Ben:were to behave with Caleb explaining roads. He was, how'd you get there so fast? And I was, like, I was, like, they make I was, like, they make these things called cars.
Kyle:I was, like, Caleb, we we don't have horse drawn carriages anymore. Like, we're not English.
Ben:They make these things called car cars. They drive on the road, and they go fast. Unpoved roads.
Kyle:I was like, sometimes unpaved.
Caleb:Unpoved. Fucking asshole. That's Kyle Stocks' trait. All in all, his personality, asshole. Mhmm.
Ben:Yep. Asshole.
Caleb:I don't have one of those. Yeah. Ashley, emotional. Mhmm. Ben, emotionless.
Ben:Why is that bad? There's nothing bad about being emotionless. Why? I don't know.
Caleb:I laugh. You do, but, like
Kyle:That's the only emotion.
Caleb:Emotion. I'll never know if you're sad. Banging out. No. Serious.
Ashley:No. No. You just ask me, and I know when this boy is falling apart on
Caleb:the inside. Is is you know because you know him because you grew up. How do
Ben:you know?
Caleb:You're proving my point. How do you know?
Ashley:You do this, like like, you shut down, which that's because that's how we were raised. I do it oh, that's Kyle's other toxic trait. Is that I shut down when I get mad or upset. Because I just like It's
Kyle:a toxic trait. It's called communication. No.
Ashley:It's like I shut down when I get mad and stuff because that's just how we were raised. And, like, I just wanna be alone. And I just want to process it in my own, and he's just right fucking next to me. Say, hey, talk to me. I went wrong.
Ashley:And then I do, and then he doesn't like my answers, and then it's a big fucking deal.
Caleb:No. That's where asshole comes out.
Kyle:No. Like, she'll shut down. She'll be quiet. And I'm, like, hey, talk to me, you know, what's bothering you, this and that. And she gets mad at me.
Ashley:Because when I tell you what's wrong, you make me feel stupid.
Kyle:Because there's more to it than the reason you give me.
Caleb:And I'll give Kyle that. I do think
Ashley:Yeah. Because I hold it in.
Kyle:Exact exactly.
Ashley:So I have, like, 6 different things that bother me. And if you don't wanna listen to all 6, then back the fuck up.
Caleb:If I
Kyle:didn't wanna listen to all 6, I wouldn't ask him.
Caleb:He wouldn't married you.
Ben:Yeah. Alright. Good to know.
Ashley:Just wanted my house.
Ben:Tell you about my thing that you're talking about. Hey. You shut down.
Ashley:Yeah. You shut down and then you, like, you get all, like, I guess I can't do anything right. You're dad.
Caleb:Yeah. No. No. No.
Ashley:Yeah. Oh, wait
Caleb:a minute. I have proof. I have proof. You don't have proof.
Ashley:Because dad No. When dad gets pissed off, he goes, what? You're I guess I can't do anything right. And you do the same bullshit. Nope.
Ashley:Yep. I did not. You are your father's son. Kyle's son. A 100% through and through, you are dad and that's what drives you nuts.
Ashley:And dad is papa and that's what drives him nuts, and it's this whole fucking cycle.
Caleb:No. You're making that up.
Ashley:Kyle put trauma.
Ben:You saw that word?
Caleb:Yeah. Kyle, stop it. I'm allowed to throw my 3 d printer in the garage and my computer. Why? Hello?
Caleb:I have a garage. Because I have access to some of the best modeling software out there. There is no information out there dead wrong, about any of them and what it I need to do it in fiber. All their starting price are 40 or more, blah blah blah. The, the.
Caleb:Exactly. And it will take them, like, 5 minutes to do. That is not worth it. It is all trash. Anyone want a 3 d printer and gaming computer?
Caleb:I am done with them.
Ashley:As you went and bought a new one.
Caleb:And then a day or 2 later, goes to I did something. It buys a new one. Well, this one's better. Then What? Proof that everything is trash.
Ben:I didn't say everything is trash. I said the computer and the 3 printer's trash. That's what I said. I didn't say everything is trash. I said the computer and that's trash.
Caleb:Think it is, honestly, with that with that whole situation. Mhmm. I think it's a knowledge gap. What? No.
Caleb:I have the knowledge. The software's just stupid. Oh. And so is the 3 for you. Sure.
Caleb:Best modeling software out there, and it's not a knowledge gap.
Ben:That's complicated. Okay? You would know the first steps.
Caleb:I probably would know the first steps. It'd be the the middle and the ending steps that I'd be like, what the fuck? No. Bet. What do you want me to make?
Caleb:You're taking too long. A box like I made. Asshole. Yep. Asshole.
Caleb:Mhmm. Emotional. Emotionless. I show emotion. I don't show well.
Caleb:Gonna be, like, my overarching What's your villain arc? Personality for red flags.
Ashley:You find something wrong with
Caleb:fucking everybody. Just one word. One word. We have asshole. We have emotional.
Caleb:We have emotionless. What's my one word? Pitch. Ticked. There.
Ashley:No. Oh, you guys are gonna I'm gonna, like
Ben:Describe it.
Kyle:Caleb can Your There there will be a Overwhelming. Sea of green flags.
Ashley:Overwhelming.
Kyle:And he'll find the one red flag out of the sea
Ashley:or green. He's overwhelming.
Ben:Yeah. That makes sense.
Ashley:Because there's, like, there's just daily doses of Caleb that you could take. Because listen, I'm gonna be honest, sometimes when you text something, I roll my eyes so hard, and then I'm, like, fucking Caleb.
Ben:Like, what?
Kyle:I don't roll my eyes, but I know when she does. Because, like Like, yeah. I see the text and I I'll look at it, I'll be like I'll be like and then and, like, I I just know Ashley's like
Ben:Yeah. It rolls ice.
Kyle:But she she over exaggerates her fucking eye rolls and that's what pisses me off.
Caleb:Hold on. I need an example.
Ashley:Oh, god. There's so many.
Kyle:It's been something's about girls.
Ben:A lot
Ashley:of them did about girls.
Caleb:We'll be
Kyle:like, oh, how'd it go with so and so? And you're like
Ashley:Wait. It feels blonde. She was blonde. I don't like the blonde hair. And then you go and find another blonde.
Kyle:She was too kinky
Ben:for me. Well She had a mustache. I don't like mustaches.
Ashley:Her her middle finger was slightly to the left, and I just can't do that.
Kyle:Her dick was always soft.
Ashley:Her big toe was just a little too big for me.
Ben:Well, her nose point to the right just a little too much.
Caleb:Jesus, guys.
Kyle:Who can't Sam had a hat?
Caleb:You know what? I am never texting you guys about another girl until it's serious. You're you're
Ben:wow. Where was you at? How does go wow?
Ashley:Or or wouldn't we ask you just some very simple question? You do this, like, long, drawn out, bullshit answer.
Ben:Those killed dramatic.
Kyle:Although, to be fair Overwhelming. Whenever he does bring up a girl, we are fully supportive.
Caleb:You are.
Kyle:Until he's, like, no, This didn't work out.
Ben:I found a red flag.
Ashley:Why did you sound like drama?
Caleb:There was so many red flags. So many red flags.
Ben:They're just all over the place. I just
Caleb:couldn't believe all the red flags.
Ashley:They're eating the dogs.
Caleb:The red flag. They're eating the dog. There is a sea of green, and I found the one red.
Ben:We gotta stop feeling pot, guys.
Caleb:I don't do that.
Ben:Yeah. You do.
Caleb:Some of them are valid. And some of the ones Ashley has brought up before have been valid
Ben:What's a valid one?
Caleb:So there was one.
Kyle:No. There was this is completely unrelated, but it is a toxic trait to Caleb's. He will it's his driving. He'll drive and something will happen to his car and he's, like, I don't know how that happened. And it's, like, I wonder how that happened.
Ben:His guests flap thing, whatever it's called, flies off. I don't know how that happened.
Caleb:Like, I don't fully Beat
Ashley:the shit out of him.
Caleb:No no. Minute then I rip that thing off.
Kyle:Oh, yeah. The one the one I'm thinking of is when he completely jumped house street and fucking skinned a hole in your fucking oil pan. No. No. No.
Caleb:Because then we
Kyle:were we were looking at it. We were looking at it under the car and you're, like,
Caleb:how did that happen?
Kyle:And we're, like, looking at it. I'm, like and, like, I looked behind you. I'm, like, yeah.
Caleb:I know. I couldn't tell you. Even though we
Kyle:were, like, 30 feet in the fucking air. Oh my god.
Ben:Here's Caleb. Yeah. My car's making a weird sound. Here's him driving. I
Ashley:slammed on that brake.
Caleb:Yeah. I haven't slammed on the brake in a while.
Ben:Yeah. Because Mir Chung is
Kyle:a little bit wild. Insurance thing there? Yeah. About how many hard breaks you've had?
Caleb:Actually, I've had a lot of great trips. Thank you very much. However however, I will say this. I think the whole thing's a fucking joke and a lie.
Kyle:It's just like the camera in my work truck.
Caleb:Yes. I got one star on the fucking snapshot, but I'm let me show you how many times it's, like, great drive. Great drive. Great drive. Hey.
Kyle:Hey, Kyle. I was on t bone on
Ben:the highway. Times when we were going on to Seattle for the race, did it go off? Seattle?
Caleb:Holy shit. I thought we went a wild Man.
Ben:That was the weakest drive. Going to Atlanta. That was the weakest drive to
Kyle:Seattle. Same We
Ashley:broke Seattle, Washington? We broke
Kyle:fucking records going to Seattle.
Ashley:You went to Seattle without me?
Ben:I mean, it was all
Caleb:is it going down
Ben:is it going down and over?
Caleb:Yeah. And then we could go
Ben:to St. Louis twice.
Caleb:When? We happened 2 times going down to St. Louis. There might have been a few in St. Louis.
Caleb:That's Like, at the race and stuff
Kyle:Sure.
Caleb:Or like going to the race and stuff, but going down only twice. You act like I am, a horrible, horrible driver, but it says 1 star, but just scroll through the great job, no trips. How do I get one star?
Ben:Because they want money. I know. That's why I don't do those stupid things.
Kyle:Okay. So you have 0.08 accelerations per week?
Caleb:Yeah. What's it say? 2.2a
Kyle:half breaks per week, which averages 5 breaks the last 7 days. The last
Caleb:7 days is when I knew that my policy increased, so I stopped giving a fuck about it. Oh. Yeah.
Kyle:Late night drives?
Caleb:That's because of work.
Kyle:Yeah. We can.
Ben:You get in trouble for late night drives?
Caleb:Yep. Anything after 11 PM. That's stupid.
Kyle:The fuck?
Ben:People got lives. Sorry.
Caleb:I know. It's more dangerous to drive at night.
Ashley:Eseless.
Caleb:By the way, I think the whole thing
Kyle:What the fuck?
Ben:It's more dangerous to pull a trailer. Am I gonna get a ding for that too?
Kyle:Yeah. I I I wish it would say why you get a 1 star.
Caleb:Yeah. But do you see what I'm saying? Like, there's a bunch of, like, oh, great great job, Nova.
Ben:That is dumb.
Caleb:And so, like, what the fuck? Why am I getting a fucking rate increase? And why do I have 1 star?
Kyle:I'm just getting a water. It's okay.
Caleb:Anyways, I Bridge is cold. I going back to it then, the one the one I would hope it's a fucking fridge.
Ben:We got the meat.
Caleb:So so we told
Ben:us 2 pounds of hamburger in there. What? You told me 2 pounds of hamburger in there? Only 1 pound.
Caleb:1 in the tacos. Okay. So going back to Okay. We started on motherfucking tacos. Okay.
Caleb:Going back to
Ashley:That's a toxic trait.
Caleb:Hold on. Hold on. Going back to Ben's question earlier, I want to
Kyle:Why is an unequal amount of fucking produce So for shit that he is okay.
Caleb:So the the question you had about, like, a reasonable red flag. Mhmm. Okay. I didn't think it was reasonable. Ashley, I don't think does find it reasonable.
Caleb:But in conversation, we've I found out that she, like, doesn't have a job, whatever. The thing was, it didn't seem like she was interested in finding a job.
Ben:Oh, okay.
Caleb:I I said, Littmann, what? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Hello? We're already apologizing, bitch.
Caleb:Speak your fucking mind, Glitch. K.
Ben:Oh, she got all serious.
Ashley:How many girls did you chase after when you didn't have a job? When you were when you were finding myself?
Caleb:I've never said finding myself.
Kyle:I'm not involved in this.
Ben:This is, like, Caleb and Ashley 1.
Ashley:When you started your realtor, you were you were all in. You were a 110%. That's another one. That's another one. That's another one.
Ashley:You were all in. You were gonna you were gonna make moves. You were gonna be, like, the best of the best in Beloit, and you were gonna go down in Illinois.
Caleb:You were gonna go to the different Geneva. Companies.
Ashley:You were gonna yeah. On Geneva Lake, you were gonna make bank. We were gonna go out. We were gonna go on vacation with that money.
Caleb:What happened?
Ashley:What happened? Where did it go? What happened?
Ben:Yeah. Kale Kale's time to trade is having all these ideas, but not
Caleb:knowing right now.
Ben:But not knowing how to execute them.
Ashley:And he goes in he goes in, like, head first, like, a 110%, a 1000000 miles an hour. He starts gathering things and we're like, okay. Alright. This might actually work out. Like, this is going great.
Ashley:And then it's a brick wall.
Ben:Hey, say something quick. I think we need to put Caleb on a mental hold just podcast.
Ashley:You need to be on a 72 hour. Yep. Yep. And then and then every once in a while, he'll just sit there, and he'll just randomly bring it up. I'm I'm gonna own the biggest campground.
Caleb:World's largest.
Ashley:World's largest campground. There you go.
Kyle:I gotta hope for that because I'm gonna work
Caleb:for him. You all
Ashley:gonna work for me.
Kyle:He's gonna pay me the big bucks.
Ben:Yeah. I'll be I'll be head landscaper
Kyle:and maintenance. I won't even have my CD out because I can't get it. So Hey.
Ben:He told me I was gonna be head landscaper and maintenance.
Kyle:Ah, he told me.
Caleb:Woah. Woah. Woah. Woah.
Ben:Hey. Motherfucker. That's my position.
Caleb:I never said head for you.
Ben:I'm pretty sure you do.
Kyle:Ben's gonna be the head Mexican?
Caleb:What kind of shit is that? Okay. So the world's largest campground, I sound like I've dived head first into that. Like, I haven't been buying shit. I have been making business plans and shit.
Caleb:You were. That's been my dream.
Ben:Let me say something. You were gonna buy property, but then I said, you need a business to make money out the property. Oh, you can't afford the property with, oh, good idea. Yeah. For the go kart track?
Kyle:No. I wasn't gonna buy a whole ass race track.
Caleb:I wasn't gonna buy a property for that. I mean, I was gonna, but hold on. I wasn't, like, actively pursuing buying it. I was looking at land, and I don't think there's any harm in that in dreaming a little bit. I'm sorry.
Caleb:Your little fucking brains for all of you can't dream just a little bit bigger.
Ben:I have no hope.
Caleb:You know, it's a waste. You get emotionless. No. The world's largest campground.
Kyle:Living embodiment of Eeyore. That is Ben. No.
Caleb:The world's largest campground has been my fucking dream since Yeah. Freshman year.
Ben:I do I remember when you first met you, you were talking about it. Yo. We're on a campground. It's gonna be awesome. This is my plans.
Ben:You learn your
Ashley:own plan. Bottom of my heart. I hope it works out. So that way, I can
Caleb:I can
Ashley:give you my kids to babysit?
Ben:Is it gonna be on a lake?
Kyle:I got a job lined up. So
Ben:Me too.
Ashley:You best pay enough.
Caleb:I don't know about it being on a lake, but I'm definitely gonna make, like, a big pond on it. If it's world's largest, it's gonna be But
Ben:where am I gonna go fishing?
Caleb:You'll figure it out.
Kyle:It should better be on the Atlantic.
Ben:It better be on lake Michigan.
Caleb:But, like, that's something is the world's largest campground has always been the end goal. Yeah. Always been the dream.
Ben:Right? Okay.
Caleb:So I gotta figure out how to fund the world's largest game card because you know how much that shit costs to start?
Kyle:It's called sucking dick.
Caleb:It's like a million.
Ben:If you rent if you rent out a Billy in the Martin, do you design
Caleb:realism. K. And she said, why do you gotta start out big? Why can't you start out small and expand?
Ashley:Yep.
Caleb:And that's
Ben:Yes. There there were no spaces in your backyard.
Caleb:Well, no. Can't do that.
Kyle:You got big enough.
Caleb:Can't do that. But but, like, you know, she brought me down to realism. Like, why does it have to be a $1,000,000 campground to start? Right? Yeah.
Caleb:Yeah.
Ashley:You gotta start somewhere.
Caleb:That's fair. And that's a fair point. But I don't think there's any problem in dreaming. I don't think that's a toxic trait in dreaming. Or
Ben:He was tapping. It was annoying me.
Caleb:Oh, yeah. I hate, like, tapping sounds like that. I know. I don't think there's any problem in dreaming, and I don't think that's a toxic trait. Yeah.
Caleb:Sometimes I might dive a little head first into something Mhmm. And I might get ahead of myself. Mhmm. And maybe sure that's the toxic part of it. But I don't think there's any problem in trying something.
Caleb:Yeah. You might fail, but as long as you can pick yourself up by the bootstraps and you're not gonna be and you're not gonna, let it get you down. I don't think there's any problem in that. I don't think that's toxic. Understandable.
Caleb:Now finding myself a hobby, that's a whole different story. Yeah. I cannot find a hobby to save myself.
Ashley:I was while you were talking too, I was thinking
Ben:Oh, boy.
Kyle:I was
Ashley:thinking about Kyle's toxic trait.
Caleb:Yeah.
Ashley:And because you going, like, a 1000000 miles an hour and stuff. Kyle's toxic trait is that when he gets drinking alcohol, he goes a 1000000 miles an hour and doesn't know when to stop or slow down.
Ben:Yeah. Running down the street as he's drunk and he barely walked, and we're trying to catch up to him. He's trying to run past the car.
Kyle:I can run a fucking marathon when I'm drunk.
Ben:It's like his pencil Or
Ashley:fall underneath the table.
Caleb:Yeah. Or car. Yeah. Me and Kyle both saw the underneath of that table though.
Kyle:Yeah. Looked pretty nice. I mean, it's
Ashley:Now it's closed. The bar is closed.
Ben:Yeah. They reopened. They're remodeling. Yet. No.
Ben:That's sad.
Caleb:I know.
Ben:Not to
Caleb:be a lake preppy bar, though. Yeah. We'll go try it out. So find a couple different tables. We're a different table at
Ben:a different bar. Yeah. Our bar. True.
Caleb:We should buy a bar.
Ben:Here we go again.
Kyle:But the men wear bikinis. The women wear men's clothes.
Caleb:So speed those for the men? Do we hear them out at the door?
Kyle:No. It's only for the workers.
Caleb:Oh. So it's
Kyle:like a reverse Hooters.
Ben:Reverse Hooters.
Ashley:10% gay. Caleb's coming out.
Kyle:So, like, the men have to wear, like, Speedos? The women have to wear, like, swim trunks and, like, a t shirt. You know?
Caleb:Is everyone gonna have to wear a swim cap too?
Kyle:No. Yeah. All the boys wear
Ben:swim caps.
Kyle:The guys had to wear Speedos and swim caps.
Caleb:Okay. What about the girls?
Kyle:They had to wear water shoes.
Ben:So the guys are wearing no shoes?
Caleb:Yes. So it sounds like wait. Hold on. What are we gonna call this bar?
Kyle:We'll call it Donkers.
Ben:10 Percenters.
Caleb:Puzzles.
Ben:Donkers. 10 Percenters. Puzzles.
Caleb:10 Percenters. Why not? That's the puzzle. I love How I Met Your Mother.
Kyle:I was thinking of, like, dongers, like, you know, my my dad dongers. She had Hooters. Now you got dongers. Dongers.
Caleb:You good, Kayla? You unplugging your stuff? A little loose.
Ben:A little loosey goosey?
Kyle:Yeah. I I've set that a time or 2.
Ashley:How about who?
Kyle:There's there's one girl who's, like, throwing a hot dog down the halloween. Okay.
Ben:Now what's another toxic trait for
Kyle:Wait. Me. Who who would we agree with?
Ben:My toxic trait.
Kyle:Is the most toxic.
Ben:Ashley.
Kyle:I say myself.
Caleb:I say Ashley.
Kyle:But I would say Ashley.
Caleb:Have 2, and it's the only couple in the room. Oh, good point. Ashley and Kyle. Yeah. Because your asshole and your Take your time.
Caleb:Mhmm. That grinds my gears. But you know what?
Ben:Because because you 2 will be same. You 2 will argue.
Caleb:These 2 fucking argue and, like, don't care about who's around me. I know I know that some
Ben:of the podcast people don't understand it, but we've got segments out of podcast because of these 2.
Caleb:We've stopped a whole podcast record session because of these 2. And then all of a sudden, Ashley will walk away, they come back,
Ben:and it's like nothing happened. I think it's Hanger.
Caleb:Yeah. I know. I think it's Hanger. I think Ashley goes, walks away Right. Has a snack, comes back to, like, my tummy's happy.
Caleb:So I'm Right.
Ben:They'll, like, they'll they'll go after
Caleb:each other, and then Allison, she'll walk away, come back, and then it's,
Ben:like, nothing happened. And it's, like, me and Kayla, look at Joey, like, we we good now?
Caleb:Yeah. Me and Ben have definitely, like, looked at each other and, like, texted each other and was, like, I'm awkward. Should we leave? I mean, no. Why not?
Caleb:One time one time we just a second.
Kyle:One time we did act.
Ben:One time we did leave.
Caleb:We did. Yeah. We were texting each other. You guys were arguing. It was, like, right after a podcast session.
Ben:And I was, like, oh, I gotta go.
Caleb:Yeah. And Ben was, like, I gotta go. And I was, like, yeah. I I gotta go too. But me and Ben were texting each other, like, who's gonna say And then gotta go first.
Caleb:And then
Ben:and then when we got outside, we sat outside your house talking for, like, 30 minutes. Yes.
Kyle:Yeah. I know. And I was in the kitchen waiting for you guys to leave so I can turn the fucking light off. And Ash is in the bathroom. I'm like, they haven't left yet.
Caleb:We were we were full on. Like, dude, they never know when to fucking stop. It was it was like keeps going, but the national keeps going. McConnell keeps going and bring something totally different up, but then Anthony brings something totally different up. And I'm like, oh my god.
Caleb:And then they they they both come
Ben:to a conclusion, but neither will budge
Caleb:on their conclusions Yeah. At all.
Kyle:Her toxic trait, which is also one of my pet peeves, is that she'll she'll put words in my mouth that I never fucking said.
Caleb:So, like because that's what
Ashley:that's what I hear.
Kyle:No. Like, that shit pisses me off. Like like, there there was one time I got super pissed because it was, like, a birthday party. And she's like
Caleb:to go get me a snack. You don't love me?
Kyle:Well, no. Not that. She was, like, if you didn't wanna go, you could've said that. And I'm, like, when the fuck did I say that? And she's, like, you were, like, oh, I don't wanna go.
Kyle:I'm, like, I never said that. And she's like, oh, that's what I sounded like.
Caleb:Kyle. No.
Ben:Kyle, welcome to my younger life. That was my
Caleb:whole younger life. She'd go to
Ben:my parents and be like, Ben said this.
Caleb:I didn't say that.
Ben:You basically said it.
Kyle:I did not. Like, what?
Caleb:Oh my god.
Ashley:My mind. That's what it feels like.
Caleb:So my vote Yeah.
Ben:Again, it comes back to you making up stories and making things up to go to your side.
Caleb:My vote for the most toxic in this room, if I have to choose a single person, only 1.
Kyle:Why don't I put it on a wheel? I spin the wheel.
Ben:No. No.
Caleb:This is opinion based.
Kyle:The the wheel's gonna be just Ashley?
Caleb:No. If I'm gonna be honest, I've been around Kyle the longest, and he gets me with that fucking take your time. Take your time.
Ashley:You know? Now that he knows that it grinds your gears, he does it on
Caleb:purpose. Know.
Kyle:Hey. Have we I've always known that.
Ben:Hey. Hey. I have a question. Did we already do this podcast when I was
Kyle:gone? No. That was, biggest pet peeves.
Caleb:Yeah. Biggest pet peeves. Okay.
Ashley:But, like, the toxic traits in your pet peeves kinda go together anyway. Yeah.
Kyle:They're, like, hand in hand.
Caleb:Yeah. Yeah. Take your time. Yeah, Kyle. Take your time.
Caleb:I know you wanna say something, so take your time.
Kyle:See, I I do it because I know bug I thought you were getting I thought you were gonna moan. Because Ben was looking at me, and I I just see like, I thought he was screaming over there. I thought there was gonna be white paint under the table.
Caleb:Alright. Alright. Real quick. We're gonna do this in a flash round for you 3. Flash round.
Ashley:Of questions?
Caleb:It's your no. Who's most toxic at this table? Me. Me. Oh.
Caleb:To you. Like, not your son.
Ashley:You can't just yourself. Kai.
Ben:Ashley. Ashley.
Caleb:Ashley, that's 3 votes. That's fine. That's 22. 22. Because I voted Kyle.
Caleb:Who you got, Colin?
Ashley:It says take your 9 PM medications.
Kyle:I thought it said take your time. I was like, oh my god.
Ashley:It's it's Take your time. It's for stuff.
Caleb:Take your time.
Ashley:Okay. Yeah.
Caleb:I think this was a a fun episode to know about, your toxic traits.
Ashley:Yeah. And each other.
Caleb:And each other. Again, if you can
Ashley:But I'm glad that we can laugh about them too.
Caleb:Oh, absolutely.
Ashley:And we're not getting
Ben:the fuck. See mine. I'm not sure what he's talking about.
Kyle:I think Caleb talked to Trey. Is it he'll pull up porn on the computer?
Caleb:I do that. And then he won't know where
Kyle:it came from. Yeah. He denied
Ben:it. He's
Kyle:like, I wasn't looking at
Caleb:midget porn.
Ben:And he just happened to stop at the perfect time where everybody in the midget porn and George is getting banged. I think you see them all.
Kyle:There's, like, there's, like, there's, like, one asshole getting licked. I'm
Caleb:looking a little bit. For my other toxic trait though, apparently. Oh my god.
Kyle:Christmas music in fucking October. Yeah.
Ashley:Okay. You're gonna get copyrighted. Yeah.
Ben:We have 30 seconds before it gets copyrighted. We've
Caleb:got 15. Oh my god.
Kyle:That's why I didn't believe in the musical. Alright. Alrighty.
Caleb:Anyways, thank you. If you
Ben:guys wait, because it's the thing. If you guys have any podcast suggestions that you would like us to go, please leave a comment on any of our social medias or on the podcast. Can we do this on Spotify or no? We can't. Right?
Ben:Please leave something in comments anywhere, any of our social medias, and we will hopefully maybe if it's a good idea, we'll do it.
Caleb:Yeah. And next week, stay tuned for next week's episode where, we actually have a special guest on. Yeah. We do. Yeah.
Caleb:One of our embers. Woo hoo. Woo hoo. And, we're It
Kyle:it it'll be the Halloween special, I think.
Caleb:Mhmm. Will it be the Halloween special?
Kyle:I see. And what a
Ben:topic to talk about with the Halloween special. I know. That'll That'll be a great topic. Can we tell you the topic or
Caleb:no? Yeah. We can say the topic. I think we can drop that.
Kyle:Yeah. Because the episode will drop on the 30th.
Ben:So the topics Halloween's The topic's kinda gonna be a debate cast, but probably not a full debate cast.
Caleb:I don't think it's gonna be a debate. I think it's gonna be a conversation. Right.
Ben:More of a conversation, but it'll be Kindling conversation. We go. Yeah. It'll be, do we have a mental health problem in the USA?
Caleb:United State of America. Stay tuned next week for that, and that's gonna be a little bit more of a serious episode rather than all the laughs. So, I mean, I'm sure they'll be our fair share, but We've had our serious episodes before.
Ben:Oh, yeah. Me and Kyle both almost cried.
Caleb:I'm not you say emotionless. I almost cried. Almost? Almost. But remember the topic we're talking about there.
Caleb:Yeah. That's what I thought. So anyways, thanks for tuning in this week. Make sure you tune in to next week's episode. I think it'll be a better one.
Ashley:As always.
Caleb:Yeah. Follow us on social media. Oh. We gotta do that
Ashley:for Yeah. Follow us on social media. We did all that. We are doing really good on social media. Hopefully, you
Caleb:Palace is squirted ass his water. She's pouring her bottle just so you guys know.
Ashley:Hopefully hopefully,
Caleb:anyways
Ashley:Hopefully, you guys like it. I'm done.
Kyle:We are looking Don't give my coupons away.
Caleb:Still we are still looking for more debate casting.
Kyle:So because pizza hot.
Caleb:So, more more debate topics like, frozen hot chocolate or
Kyle:Baby, why do you do this to me?
Caleb:Or or, 1 oh my god, Kyle.
Kyle:Take your time.
Caleb:Alright. We'll see you guys on the next one next week.
Kyle:Okay. I have to take it.
Caleb:We'll see. We'll talk to you then. Toodles. Deuces. Adios.
